Jim better watch his back

Jon has decided he wants to marry me. (Sorry, Sylvia). When I told him I was already married to his dad, he said, "Let's get rid of him."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Do you want cheese with that whine?

I didn't realize that, along with every contagious disease that comes down the pike, that I would also catch the dreaded scourge of whining. I was at the doctor's office yesterday, loaded down with sweet little baby, when the receptionist handed me a three page document to fill out. "Do I have to do it now?" I whined.
Read more

Code Orange Juice

This is a message from the emergency mom broadcast system. As of 10:50 am Wednesday, March 9th, there is a Code Orange Juice alert on for my kitchen. At an unknown time earlier today, a large pitcher of orange juice was left in my fridge, without a lid. I repeat, the orange juice is without a lid. A search of the premises revealed no lid for the orange juice. This orange juice was left at the height of a preschooler in the front of the fridge, without shielding with other large objects such as a closed milk container. Last known whereabouts of lid were with a small boy, brown hair, approximately 4 years old. When asked about the lid, he said "Sure I know where it is", but further questioning revealed the subject was unable to produce said lid. At this time, emergency tin foil will be placed on the orange juice, and the jerry-rigged orange juice system placed out of the way of small hands. That is all. Oh, and the vertigo is better.
Read more

The kid wants a bigger slice

Imagine my surprise this afternoon when I get a call from a man claiming to be Jonny's agent. Since Jonny is rarely out of my sight, I wondered how and when he might have contacted someone to handle his business affairs. The guy was blunt. "Jonny isn't happy with 8% of the blog. He wants at least 20%" "But he's preverbal. How much can I do with that?" "Yeah, he's preverbal now, but have you heard his babbling lately?" "I admit, his babbling is very cute". "Cute? He's takes his art seriously. You can practically tell what he's talking about!" "I can go as much as 12% max. The kid doesn't have it yet." "But the rosy glow, the winning smile, the kid's a natural born star. You gotta give him at least 18%" "Tell you what," I said, "when he says "Mama", he can have 15%" So we reached a deal. I got off the phone to find that Hannah, our 14 year old cat...
Read more